


And So The Dread Wolf Took You

by Lonyn



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Dragon Age Spoilers, F/M, Trespasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4795427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonyn/pseuds/Lonyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hahya Lavellan's confrontation with Solas in Trespasser. Major spoilers ahead for the Trespasser DLC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Contains major spoilers for the Trespasser DLC. Game dialogue is used, owned by Bioware, along with my own writing to go along with the scene.

Hahya felt like her arm was burning as she slipped through the eluvian. Once through she’d turned back to look as it quickly shut off and she felt a pang of worry hit her as she hoped her companions were still on the other side. She turned around letting out a gasp as she saw a Qunari warrior, and she fell back. He was stone and she looked around the small area to see more. They’d all suffered the same fate and she got up walking past them.

Two giant Halla statues lined a stairway, light puffs of pollen and leaves dotted the air as she looked around, seeing the trees swaying in the wind and the grass softly dancing.

“Ebasit kata. Itwa-ost.” She heard and her heart stilled. It was him; that was Solas’s voice. She began to run towards where the faint timbre of his words came from. She stopped near the stairs and looked around when she heard the Viddasala’s voice cut through. 

“Maraas kata!” She looked up and saw the glow of an eluvian and two figures up top of the small hill. She began to run towards it.

Solas’s voice responded, “Your forces have failed. Leave now, and tell the Qunari to trouble me no further.” She made it to the top of the steps in time to see Viddasala grunt, readying her spear and then in an instant she was turned to stone. His back was to her now as he stepped a little closer to where the eluvian stood, stone rocks were jumbled upon the ground, broken up from its pattern from long ago.

“Solas...” She breathed, hardly able to believe that it was him. He’d turned to look at her, facing her for the first time in two years. He was the man she never thought she’d love. The man who’d taught her so much, who’d cared for her in her darkest hours. Had he really betrayed her? Did he use her? She was stuck between anger and the happiness she had that she was seeing him at this moment. But the paintings and murals she’d seen on her way here kept trying to edge their way back into the forefront of her mind.

Agent of Fen’Harel? Was he really? The mural depicting Fen’Harel of removing the Vallaslin from the elven slaves’ faces had caught her attention early on. He’d performed the same ritual. Was he simply taught by Fen’Harel to do that, or was he… No, he couldn’t.

She let out a cry as green essence exuded from her arm once again and she fell to her knees, gripping her left wrist as she cried out in pain. She looked up at him through the pain, he was looking down at her sadly when suddenly his eyes flashed and the pain began to seep away from her arm. 

“That should give us more time.” He said, the gentleness in his voice caressed her ears. As she began to stand she met his gaze once more. “I suspect you have questions.”

“How were you able to control the anchor,” She asked as soon as she was able to catch her breath.

“In the same way as which I stopped it from killing you at Haven. Although I am stronger now,” His words slipped easily off his tongue, as if it were that simple. “The mark you bear was bestowed upon you by the orb of Fen’harel. My orb.”

“You’re… Fen’Harel,” The sneaking suspicions that were nagging at the back of her mind came to fruition. He really was Fen’Harel. Her heart sank at what that could possibly mean. 

“I was Solas first. ‘Fen’Harel’ came later… An insult I took as a badge of pride. The Dread Wolf inspired hope in my friends and fear in my enemies… Not unlike ‘Inquisitor’ I suppose.

A sudden anger bubbled in her chest, her heart beginning to ache at his nonchalant attitude. “Ma harel lasa!” She suddenly lashed out.

“Only by omission,” He responded calmly which only served to egg her on further.

“Ma lasa banal’ghilana!” She shouted.

“What would you have had me say?” His voice finally desperate as his veneer began to crack. “That I was the great adversary in your people’s mythology?”

“I would have had you trust me; as I had trusted you!” The growl escaped her as his face faltered, sadness washing over it as they stood close to each other in their brief heated exchange. She wanted so badly to fall into his embrace, but she restrained herself.

The melancholy air consumed him as he turned around, his hands settling into each other behind his back. “I sought to set my people free from slavery to would-be gods.” He began, “I broke the chains of all who wished to join me. The false gods called me Fen’Harel. And when they finally went too far, I formed the veil and banished them forever.” He formed the veil? Hahya’s mind was spinning as he finished. “Thus I freed the elven people and, in so doing, destroyed their world.”

“Destroyed their world?” She dared to utter; the implications of that statement weighing heavily on her. So much of what she had thought of her people was wrong. She had prayed to false gods. Asked them for guidance, even proud to wear the slave markings that decorated her face. She was crushed when he told her the truth. She had believed him, because the Well’s whispers from Mythal had entered her thoughts and told her he was right.

“Yes,” He said, painfully, the burden having plagued him for so long. “And now you know.” There was an unreadable ache in his eyes as he gazed upon her. “What is the old Dalish curse? ‘May the Dread Wolf take you?’”

Her lips began to quiver, her limbs shaking, as her voice came out with a waiver. “And so he did.”

He shook his head, “I did not. I would not lay with you under false pretenses.”

“But you lied to me!” She lashed out again, “I loved you. Did you really think I wouldn’t have understood?”

“Ir abelas, Vhenan.” He apologized.

“Tel’abelas. If you cared, you would have given me the truth before you left me alone in that forsaken grotto!” She was becoming more emotional, the hurt she had felt when he’d left her like that consuming her. “Did you even care when you left after we defeated Corypheus? Did you ever think of what you did to me?”

“Every single day, Vhenan.”

“Don’t call me that!” She cried, “You don’t get to call me that anymore!” The tears were pricking at her eyes, and she hated that they were begging for a release. She had sworn she would shed no more tears for him, but everything he was saying; some of it was what she had hoped for. The kind and thoughtful words, the saddened look upon his eyes. It was getting harder to bare and she squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to compose herself. “That’s the past. What about the future?” She managed to ask.

He took in a deep breath as he began to explain once more, “I lay in dark and dreaming sleep while countless wars and ages passed. I woke still weak a year before I joined you.” He started to walk away from her, getting that much closer to the eluvian. “My people fell for what I did to strike the Evanuris down, but still some hope remains for restoration.” He stopped and didn’t look back at her. “I will save the elven people. Even if it means this world must die.”

Her heart was shattering once again, the pieces even tinier this time. “Why does this world have to die for the elves to return?”

He didn’t turn to face her still as he hung his head. “A good question, but not one I will answer. You have always shown a thoughtfulness I respected. It would be too easy to tell you too much. I am not Corypheus. I take no joy in this. But the return of my people means the end of yours. It is my fight.”

She pursed her lips looking down at the ground when he turned around to face her again; anything was better than looking at him through this heartbreak. “Isn’t there more in this life that’s worth living and fighting for? Can’t you see it?”

“Please do not make this harder than it already is, Vhenan,” He slipped, closing his eyes for a moment, “I owe it to those I failed to make things right.”

“Those that are gone are more important… Than me?”

He looked to be in pain, “Please, you must understand… I cannot be selfish, no matter how much I love you.”

She swallowed, knowing she wouldn’t get anywhere further on this topic. He was not going to tell her his plans. “There’s… Still the matter of the anchor. It’s getting worse.” Her voice faltered; she was beginning to feel the prickling pain creeping back into her fingers.

“I know, Vhenan. And we are running out of time.”

The green essence encroached her vision and she cried out in pain as it seemingly began to erupt within her arm causing her to fall to her knees. She looked up at him through the pain as he was stepping closer to her.

“The mark will eventually kill you. Drawing you here gave me the chance to save you… At least for now.”

Tears were now flowing from her cheeks, the realization finally settling in that he was going to go through with his plans regardless of how he felt for her. “Solas, var lath vir suledin!” She cried out.

“I wish it could, Vhenan.” She wished he’d stop looking at her with that sad and wretched expression. She loved him so much she knew she was willing to forgive him for the hollowness he was causing in her heart. Another shockwave pulsed through her hand and she cried out in agony. “My love…” He said, kneeling down as the cool feeling of his armored fingertips lightly brushed her left forearm as he placed his left hand on the side of her face, drawing her in, touching his lips to hers in one final goodbye.

She was breaking inside, pain swelling in her arm as it felt like it was disintegrating. As he broke away he finally stood and began to walk away. “I will never forget you.” She watched as he left her again for the third time and she dared to look down at her left arm. It was seemingly dissolving from her fingertips in a ghastly green essence and she wondered how far it was going to go before it stopped.

She looked back up and he was stopped in front of the eluvian, putting a hand to his face before he stepped through. She began to weep, placing her face in her own palm as her body wracked with sobs. The pain finally subsided in her arm, but she didn’t care, as the hole in her heart was a thousand times worse.

How could he do this? Why? For people who were long forgotten? Why did he owe them more than staying here with her! She thought they were truly happy, the small smiles of love that seemed to adorn his lips before and after he’d kiss her sweetly. The way he wrapped his arms around her torso after they’d made love; like he didn’t want to ever let her go. Had she imagined it, or had it all been real like he’d spoken before he’d left her the last time.

She laid on her left side, realizing that halfway down her forearm is where her arm now ended. It was gone, as Solas was surely gone forever from her. The others had tried to warn her; Cassandra had tried to tell her that maybe there was more to the reason why he had left. She hadn’t wanted to believe it, but here she was consumed in grief, lying in her own despondency once again, except this time it was that much worse. 

She didn’t know how long she had laid there before her companions were suddenly at her side. Soft and warm fingertips touched her forehead as Dorian brushed her hair from her face, part of it wet from the tears that had soaked it.

“Oh, Hahya,” He said softly and she squeezed her eyes shut.

“What did he do to you?” Cassandra’s protective voice suddenly cut in. “Your arm…”

She didn’t want to speak, but she managed to squeak out that the anchor was now gone. Bull’s strong arms scooped her up and she felt so small in his hold. Her friends had come for her as soon as they could get to her.

Her friends. A human woman, a Qunari turned Tal-Vashoth, a Tevinter Mage to pick a few from the bunch. She never thought she’d meet people she’d care about that weren’t of her clan. People that she cared more for. They’d become her family, her real family, and she let that thought take her as she slipped from this world into the heart aching slumber of the fade.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Don’t hang your head so low, Dread Wolf. You might have me believe you regret your choice to walk the path of sorrow and death._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My wishful hopes for my Lavellan and Solas reuniting in DA4? *Sighs*
> 
> [A sketch of mine to go along with this if anyone's interested :3](http://lonyn.tumblr.com/post/137866029430/lonyn-dont-hang-your-head-so-low-dread-wolf)

He could see the faint gleam of the rune set at the base of her prosthetic arm just below her elbow. His fault, his responsibility that he unwittingly bestowed upon this unsuspecting soul.  


This beautiful soul, so hardened and deceived before he’d come upon her. She was a smoldering fire waiting to escape its confines. Always running, yet fearing the flight.  


She had trusted him. She had confided her fears.  


And he had lied to her from the beginning. Trying to resist her spirit, her life, her essence, but it became him. Her questions, her interest, the wisdom she’d shown him not since he’d travelled the fade.  


She became his reason to let himself _live_ outside the fade. And he had betrayed her. He had caused her pain; was still causing her pain, yet she was standing there, her eyes still pleading with him to give up this cause.  


But he had started all this. He had destroyed so much trying to bring life to those who were beneath the Evanuris, subservient to the false gods, and he had seen too much defiled to let it keep continuing.  


He had to make it right, but this woman… She made him question everything, she made him fear being alone more than he had ever feared it before. She still had faith in him, hope that he would give up his plans.  


He couldn’t. It was too late. Too late for him.  


“Don’t hang your head so low, Dread Wolf. You might have me believe you regret your choice to walk the path of sorrow and death.” His eyes had sunk low; he couldn’t look her in the eyes. “It’s not too late,” she read his thoughts, her left arm had risen, her gloved, prosthetic fingers reaching up to touch his cheek. There was no life in that hand, but he felt its presence, felt her touch as she cupped his cheek. He felt the soft warmth of the rune coursing through the tendrils of the pieces that made up her arm.  


What wonders magic could produce. But he did this. He took that away from her. He had handed her yet another challenge, another notch on the list of things that hadn’t broken this woman yet. His heart ached, his body burned, his soul wanted to intertwine with hers and stay wrapped up within her forever.  


“Solas,” her voice was soft, full of pain, full of want for him to walk away with her. Her other hand touched the side of his face. He still resisted the want to look at her face. If he did, he just might leave with her. Leave to wander the ends of Thedas with her. Would that be such a bad choice? He could feel those hues burning into him, her will forced upon him to bring his eyes to hers. There was turmoil within him. He tried to mask his deep breaths through his nose.  


“Solas,” She pleaded softly again. What he’d give to hear his name ghosting from her lips the way it did before. The way she’d say his name when she trusted him, loved him, the sigh of it as they’d made love. He would give everything to lift this burden, but he couldn’t. Why wouldn’t he?  


He looked up, his hands gripping her wrists, feeling the difference between the real joint and the false one. It was a mistake to look at her; he’d become lost within her. “Vhenan,” He whispered, aching at the pain it caused her to hear him call her that. She still thought he didn’t mean it. He meant it every time. She was his heart, his reason to live, to breathe, to make the world right, but he could not let her see what would become of him.  


But did he have to? There may yet be time to walk away; to not stain her perception of him any further.  


Her eyes, those eyes, those deep blue eyes blended with flecks of violet still looked at him to change his mind. She could change everything with that look. She had so many times before, had delayed his departure, and absorbed him into her world.  


He couldn’t. He could not cause her pain any longer. It was over, over as soon as his lips swept in to capture hers so sweetly so softly. To feel her kiss him back set his world alight with her fire. That uniqueness; her love unlike any he’d felt before. He would not regret this. He would regret having caused her pain. But he could walk away.  


He could make the world right by making her happy.  


End file.
